The One

I've always heard people talk about it. They always say these cliche things like, "when you know, you know."

However, I've always been a hardcore skeptic.  At a very young age, (fourteen I believe), I decided there was no such thing as a soul mate. And I pretty much stood by that until a few months ago.  Lately, it's been a topic I've been wrestling with.

I've always believed that love was a choice. You pick a person you like, you make a commitment, and then you stand by them. And I'll be the first to admit, I 'm in love with fairy tale love, but I really don't believe it happens for us in the "real world." By my old logic, there is no certain counter part for every person on this Earth; it's all just a choice, Mr. Right Now as opposed to Mr. Right.

But as a Catholic, if you're called to marriage, then you know God has your perfect husband picked out for you. And God is good, so he will bring you and dear hubby together. But, you're a human! So you can make the choice to love this man or not. I can't fathom that.

I forced myself to go sit in the wedding department of Belk the other day. Don't ask why. I don't really know. I was feeling sad, but I told myself that I was going to go face what was making me sad and just get over it for the day. And something struck me the other day while I was looking at all the pretty plates and silver photo frames: I've never thought it in my life. If all these people can describe the same experience of "just knowing" into the phrase "the one," there has to be some credence to it...that sort of revelation to happen to that many people, I can only assume, can come from God.

And then, I had another epiphany:

As many guys as I've dated, as many guys as I've been puppy dog love gaga over, I've never thought, never felt, never just known he's the one. 


I've always had this super pragmatic approach to love, and I suppose all my past relationships have been dominated by my own will instead of God's will to pick out someone for me. And why wouldn't I let God pick out someone for me? He knows me better than me after all. . .

So I guess I have decided that I do believe in soul mates...to an extent. I trust God has someone picked out for me and that he will be super awesome. It's hard giving up this control, but it gets a little easier everyday.