Lately, I've been thinking about the missions again.
And I have my heart on one in particular. It's based of out Tucson, Arizona and then goes into Mexico.
On the dating site I joined, (which is a secular, free site, btw), a guy up in Vermont sent me a chat message. Turns out, he and I had a lot in common.
And I don't know why I did, but I told him I wanted to go on this mission and sent him the link.
And wouldn't you know it, he used to live at that very mission. So I got to ask him all the questions that had been nagging at me about it, and it just seems like a really good thing.
But how funny is it that a random stranger messages me on an internet dating site just happened to live in the mission that I want to serve at?
It's one of those things that makes you think, but ultimately, you have to smile and keep discernin'.
2/22/2012
If I see many liturgical abuses going on, and I do not feel that I am being fed spiritually...
If I know other people who have approached father in a loving manner and asked that things change only to have their heads bitten off...
If I am participating in lay-parish activities, and yet, after almost a year, no one has bothered to really get to know me...
Am I obligated to stay in my parish? Don't I have a canonical right to go somewhere else or is the burden of conducting spiritual growth put on me? I know writing the bishop about my concerns should be the next step, but I don't much think he would care.
I used to think picking and choosing your parish was so Protestant; now I'm just so hungry for a good spiritual home.Im m just so tired of the bad (or non-existent) homilies, bad liturgical practices, and lack of out reach when I'm sitting here saying, "here I am!"
I just don't know what to do, but it's wearing me down enough that I think I might go to another parish for a while.
2/16/2012
Is "Unconsecrated Single" a True Vocation or a Missed Opportunity?
Warming: It's a bit of a rant, but I feel like this is a dialog that needs to be had. If you feel like sharing, please do. I don't normally advocate sharing of my posts because this is a highly personal blog, but I feel very strongly about this topic.
In light of spending my seventh Valentine's Day alone, I found this article that asks the question, is "unconsecrated single" a true vocation or is it simply a consequence of missed opportunity? A quick summary of the article's argument is this: We have primary and secondary vocations. What we do (e.g. our jobs) is secondary and by no means can it be our primary vocation because a primary vocation involves vows and taking a spouse (God, Church, or person) that helps us to reach our peak spirituality here one Earth. For everyone, that means religious or marital life. No where in the Catechism does it mention the idea of "unconsecrated lay single person" as a primary vocation. That's because it's not supposed to be.
So what gives? Why do I hear people talking about "unconsecrated single" as a legitimate primary vocation? The answer is simple. Go ask any "unconsecrated single" this one question, "was this a choice or did you just not find your match?" I guarantee you the answer will be, "No I'm not (or wasn't) single by choice." And any good single Catholic boy or girl will tell you the plethora of reasons why his or her journey to marriage just didn't pan out. More importantly, the right match may be made, but every person on this Earth has free will. It's possible that the right match didn't heed the call to marriage. Then, you have a pair of Catholics with missed callings. Moreover, if the answer is "yes, I chose it of my own free will,"then that person was probably called to religious life but just didn't answer.
My point is this: There can't possibly be a vocation of a "lay unconsecrated single" - at least not to me. I just don't think God created the bulk us for being completely alone and chaste. If a single Catholic does feel that way, he or she is probably called to the religious life. God did, however, say "Go forth and multiply." And that is in our nature for most. So for many, marriage is our vocation to holiness. No, what we're experiencing is a prolonged search - one that we may never get an answer to, one that can be very painful and lonely, especially if you're doing everything by the good Book and the Catechism.
The catch is that there is a growing number of faithful Catholic lay singles. And this is concerning for a family centric, marriage centered church. Soon, Mother Church is going to have to reach out to us because I'm afraid we're going to outnumber the married couples. And if she doesn't, well, the allure of do-as-you-please protestantism and secularism will probably steal the wishy washy ones of us away, and our souls with them. For the rest of us who do remain faithful, I guess we'll just have to be content with offering it up.
All in all, it just seems like there are only two paths to holiness - religious or marriage. Anything in between just sounds like a lack of vocation and a missed opportunity.
In light of spending my seventh Valentine's Day alone, I found this article that asks the question, is "unconsecrated single" a true vocation or is it simply a consequence of missed opportunity? A quick summary of the article's argument is this: We have primary and secondary vocations. What we do (e.g. our jobs) is secondary and by no means can it be our primary vocation because a primary vocation involves vows and taking a spouse (God, Church, or person) that helps us to reach our peak spirituality here one Earth. For everyone, that means religious or marital life. No where in the Catechism does it mention the idea of "unconsecrated lay single person" as a primary vocation. That's because it's not supposed to be.
So what gives? Why do I hear people talking about "unconsecrated single" as a legitimate primary vocation? The answer is simple. Go ask any "unconsecrated single" this one question, "was this a choice or did you just not find your match?" I guarantee you the answer will be, "No I'm not (or wasn't) single by choice." And any good single Catholic boy or girl will tell you the plethora of reasons why his or her journey to marriage just didn't pan out. More importantly, the right match may be made, but every person on this Earth has free will. It's possible that the right match didn't heed the call to marriage. Then, you have a pair of Catholics with missed callings. Moreover, if the answer is "yes, I chose it of my own free will,"then that person was probably called to religious life but just didn't answer.
My point is this: There can't possibly be a vocation of a "lay unconsecrated single" - at least not to me. I just don't think God created the bulk us for being completely alone and chaste. If a single Catholic does feel that way, he or she is probably called to the religious life. God did, however, say "Go forth and multiply." And that is in our nature for most. So for many, marriage is our vocation to holiness. No, what we're experiencing is a prolonged search - one that we may never get an answer to, one that can be very painful and lonely, especially if you're doing everything by the good Book and the Catechism.
The catch is that there is a growing number of faithful Catholic lay singles. And this is concerning for a family centric, marriage centered church. Soon, Mother Church is going to have to reach out to us because I'm afraid we're going to outnumber the married couples. And if she doesn't, well, the allure of do-as-you-please protestantism and secularism will probably steal the wishy washy ones of us away, and our souls with them. For the rest of us who do remain faithful, I guess we'll just have to be content with offering it up.
All in all, it just seems like there are only two paths to holiness - religious or marriage. Anything in between just sounds like a lack of vocation and a missed opportunity.
2/10/2012
Looking Ahead to Lent
Something is happening to me lately. I can't describe it.
It feels like a set of growing pains coming on. I'm actually excited for Lent.
I have tentatively figured out what I'm giving up; it's the same thing I tried to give up last year, and I got heavily distracted.
It's the biggest obstacle (besides that and my phlegmatic tendency to sleep 15 more minutes than do morning prayer and a few other things) between myself and God. Boys. distract. me.
Moreover, I don't know why, but the more I think about missionary life, the more I feel I want it. And it's not just as of late. The desire has always been there, but just when I get up enough courage to do something, some boy comes along, and I get distracted.
I stumbled across this site yesterday, Singles Serving Orphans, and for some reason, it just feels right. Like that is where I need to be to dip my toes in the water. Plus, the retreat is based on the writings of two people who speak to me very deeply - Pope JP II and Mother Teresa.
I don't know what it has been about my Nana's death, but there is some sort of fire under my butt now to love, love, love. To love everyone around me like that woman loved me, my brothers, her husband. To show Christ's love to the crack baby that survived and was adopted and is now having trouble remembering his spelling words. To show Christ's love despite the child who is a bully and overpowers little five year olds. To love like Christ the girl who goes around town trying to ruin my reputation because she's still upset about something that happened over a year ago. To love like Christ the ex-best-friend-now-acquaintance who's so vehemently and violently pro-choice. To love the boy who helped provided me with the greatest gift of all, becoming Catholic, even though he broke my heart.
It feels like a set of growing pains coming on. I'm actually excited for Lent.
I have tentatively figured out what I'm giving up; it's the same thing I tried to give up last year, and I got heavily distracted.
Dating.
It's the biggest obstacle (besides that and my phlegmatic tendency to sleep 15 more minutes than do morning prayer and a few other things) between myself and God. Boys. distract. me.
Moreover, I don't know why, but the more I think about missionary life, the more I feel I want it. And it's not just as of late. The desire has always been there, but just when I get up enough courage to do something, some boy comes along, and I get distracted.
I stumbled across this site yesterday, Singles Serving Orphans, and for some reason, it just feels right. Like that is where I need to be to dip my toes in the water. Plus, the retreat is based on the writings of two people who speak to me very deeply - Pope JP II and Mother Teresa.
I don't know what it has been about my Nana's death, but there is some sort of fire under my butt now to love, love, love. To love everyone around me like that woman loved me, my brothers, her husband. To show Christ's love to the crack baby that survived and was adopted and is now having trouble remembering his spelling words. To show Christ's love despite the child who is a bully and overpowers little five year olds. To love like Christ the girl who goes around town trying to ruin my reputation because she's still upset about something that happened over a year ago. To love like Christ the ex-best-friend-now-acquaintance who's so vehemently and violently pro-choice. To love the boy who helped provided me with the greatest gift of all, becoming Catholic, even though he broke my heart.
Saint Therese of Liseux, pray for me.
Blessed Mother Teresa, pray for me.
Saint Veronica, pray for me.
Holy Mary, pray for me.
Your will be done, O Lord, not mine.
2/06/2012
Stuff Catholic Girls Say
Oh, I must be pretty Catholic because I say and do almost all of these things. And at about 2:00 min in the first video, I completely experienced that! LOL
Please watch these; they are hilarious!
2/05/2012
Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming (For at Least a Post)
I'm still reeling from the death of my Nana, and my brain is still kind of mush so bulleted list presentation it is.
- I've got a guy that I really like, and he seems to really like me, but I already know there's no hope.
- 1. He hates MS - I'm just not sure I want to leave. Or if I do, I want it to be by myself so I know that it was for myself.
- 2. He's not Catholic, though he is Christian. - It's like I'm speaking Catholiceese when I try to explain things. Funny thing is, Catholicism is a part of his culture, so I'm kinda amazed he knows so little being that he's somewhat ethnocentric.
- Lent is coming. I'm not sure what I'm giving up. Or rather, I might make myself veil at mass for all of Lent because that would be a pretty hard thing for me to do, to stick out like that. Then again, I probably already stick out being so young and coming to mass and sitting in the middle of 80 year olds.
- Is it weird that I think it's easier just to be alone? I mean, there are so many boys with so much potential, but then when it comes down to it, they all just fall short. Am I just getting pickier? Or is this some indication that I'm still burned out and in need of a sabbatical?
- I still think about the missions a lot. Problem is, I only want to go to far off places and help the orphans there (read: Africa, Ireland, etc) Knowing my luck, I'd get stuck in the Bronx. White country girl in the Bronx = no bueno. Then again, doing the work of the Lord, I would assume I'd be ok by myself. But really, wanting to go to the missions just only to help exotic orphans when there is so much to be done here stateside is so self-serving. That's not the kind of person who goes on missions. So continue to contemplate it, I will.
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