Is "Unconsecrated Single" a True Vocation or a Missed Opportunity?

Warming: It's a bit of a rant, but I feel like this is a dialog that needs to be had. If you feel like sharing, please do. I don't normally advocate sharing of my posts because this is a highly personal blog, but I feel very strongly about this topic.

In light of spending my seventh Valentine's Day alone, I found this article that asks the question, is "unconsecrated single" a true vocation or is it simply a consequence of missed opportunity? A quick summary of the article's argument is this: We have primary and secondary vocations.  What we do (e.g. our jobs) is secondary and by no means can it be our primary vocation because a primary vocation involves vows and taking a spouse (God, Church, or person) that helps us to reach our peak spirituality here one Earth. For everyone, that means religious or marital life. No where in the Catechism does it mention the idea of "unconsecrated lay single person" as a primary vocation.  That's because it's not supposed to be.

So what gives? Why do I hear people talking about "unconsecrated single" as a legitimate primary vocation? The answer is simple. Go ask any "unconsecrated single" this one question, "was this a choice or did you just not find your match?" I guarantee you the answer will be, "No I'm not (or wasn't) single by choice." And any good single Catholic boy or girl will tell you the plethora of reasons why his or her journey to marriage just didn't pan out. More importantly, the right match may be made, but every person on this Earth has free will. It's possible that the right match didn't heed the call to marriage. Then, you have a pair of Catholics with missed callings. Moreover, if the answer is "yes, I chose it of my own free will,"then that person was probably called to religious life but just didn't answer.

My point is this: There can't possibly be a vocation of a "lay unconsecrated single" - at least not to me. I just don't think God created the bulk us for being completely alone and chaste. If a single Catholic does feel that way, he or she is probably called to the religious life. God did, however, say "Go forth and multiply." And that is in our nature for most. So for many, marriage is our vocation to holiness. No, what we're experiencing is a prolonged search - one that we may never get an answer to, one that can be very painful and lonely, especially if you're doing everything by the good Book and the Catechism.

The catch is that there is a growing number of faithful Catholic lay singles. And this is concerning for a family centric, marriage centered church. Soon, Mother Church is going to have to reach out to us because I'm afraid we're going to outnumber the married couples. And if she doesn't, well, the allure of do-as-you-please protestantism and secularism will probably steal the wishy washy ones of us away, and our souls with them. For the rest of us who do remain faithful, I guess we'll just have to be content with offering it up.

All in all, it just seems like there are only two paths to holiness - religious or marriage. Anything in between just sounds like a lack of vocation and a missed opportunity.