NFP vs. The Pill: The Difference? - With Pictures!

So all's well that's going well in the dating arena of my life until this past Friday.

Rewind a bit - I've recently met a guy who seems to be the total package - smart, funny, great smile, studying for his PhD, genuine and honest. He lost his mom six years ago, and he's only a few months older than me. He is protestant, but claims no denomination, prefers churches that give the Lord's supper frequently, and is open to learning about the Catholic church and dating a Catholic girl, which he's never done before.  In fact, he's looking to find a new church home because this current one isn't doing anything for him. It's been going well, to say the least, but then, we've only known each other for a month.

Catholic girls. Stereotyped forever thanks to Hollywood and Britney Spears.

By no means was it a bad time. In fact, I had a really, really good time. We watched some movies, played some video games, and he made me dinner. (That hasn't been done for me in a long, long time). While he cooked, we talked, and we talked through dinner too. It's never awkward.

Until we started talking about how much we don't like politics. Until the Catholic thing came up in connection with that. Until he asked about the Catholic views on morality and sex and birth control. And he grilled me. Right there on the spot. Generally, I tried to avoid this topic as long as possible, but inevitably, it always rears its ugly head.

Sad to say, I think he about crapped his pants when I said "I don't use birth control." And then I had to clarify - not the pill, not the condom, not the shot - nothing. And then I proceeded to tell him how embarrassing it is to have to admit to a priest, let alone God, that you've been having sex outside of marriage, and that I didn't have sex (or haven't had sex) in the past four - going on five- years. I think I sent the poor boy into shock.

One challenge you won't conquer.
Ever.
Unless you marry me.
#putaringonit

But he did keep asking questions - what do you do to control your birth rate? How is NFP different from birth control? Does this mean you should have eighteen kids even if you can't afford it?

And I realized, as a single Catholic gal, I can't answer these questions. I can't really explain what NFP is and differentiate it from the rhythm method or what makes it better than using a birth control pill. I felt so silly sitting there saying, "Oh, I don't have sex, and I can tell you why, but I have no idea how to get through a marriage having sex and still being faithful to the Church and God." I also feel like he needs to see a typical Catholic family in action. I think that would help a lot because I think when I told him all this he automatically thought "The Duggars."

Good on the Duggars, but that life is not for me. 

Normally, if a guy posed this question and seemed to frown upon my answer, I'm gone. I say thanks for your time, it's been fun, but we're not for each other. But he said something the other night that makes me hopeful. He said that he prays about us nightly. I don't think that even Heathcliff did that (he might have prayed about what to do about us, but I don't think he ever really prayed about the relationship). He said that he was well aware that there would be some disparity between us, but he feels such a good connection with me that he felt the need to take it to God in prayer. Isn't this what all the self-help single Catholic girl books preach? Isn't this the kinda man that, as a single girl, you want to pursue?

So ladies, if you have any advice, please comment. We're going to see each other again Thursday, and I'd like to be more articulately able to explain the Church's position should the need arise.