Post Friday Fast Thought

Some people may know this; some may not.  I am a closet vegetarian.  Or a 90% of the time vegetarian.
Technically, I'm a pescatarian (a vegetarian who eats fish), but let's not get bogged down in labels.

I've always had a problem eating meat.  When I was twelve, I tried to become a full vegetarian, but it just wasn't possible with my family's diet. Don't get me wrong - if someone has invited me over for dinner and they've fixed a meat dish, I'll eat it.  But I've always shied away from meat. If you asked me if I wanted a hamburger or fish, I would pick fish.  Chicken or fish, fish.  And even now, I feel kinda guilty eating fish. (But more on why I do later).

One reason I don't like eating meat is that it just makes me sad that there used to be a living, breathing, animal.  Granted, animals don't have souls, and if they're here for our sustenance, then people should have no problem eating them.  Still, I never liked the idea that I was consuming something that used to be alive, in the sense that it respired.

Over the past year, I've read books about what the meat industry does to their animals, and it makes me cry. And gag.  There is some really terrible stuff going on in our meat industry. So part of why I don't eat it is social protest, but it's not my only reason. (And no, I'm not in PETA).  :)

The other reasons: it is cheaper not to eat meat.  When I started living on my own, meat was one of the first things to get tossed off the grocery list because it was too expensive.

It's healthier. Getting rid of meat in my diet forced me to buy more vegetables and fruits to make up for what my diet would now be lacking.  Now, after eating a supper, I don't get the post supper -itis.  (You know, that feeling where you're so bloated you can't do anything but sit and then sleep).  But before, when I was eating meat, it made me feel gross and sluggish afterwards.

So to bring it back around, I do eat fish.  And I think it's because my father used to take me fishing as a child.  At six, I used to clean and gut the fish we caught.  Granted it did make me sad, but there is something about being around an animal while it's dying and making your peace with it (I think I might have actually told the fish "Sorry fish. But you sure are going to taste good").  I think this is why I can eat fish and be ok with it.

I know you're thinking - V.  where does Catholicism fit into all of this? Well, here's my quandary.  I do the Friday fast.

If the Friday fast means giving up meat for the day, and I give meat up on a daily basis and eat fish centered meals on the weekends (read: Fridays), should I be giving up fish or some other protein based food on Friday? Because getting to eat salmon or shrimp or catfish is a real treat for me compared to what I eat during the week (stir fry tofu, pb&j, meatless tacos, etc).  In fact, I look forward to eating my fish on Friday, but should I? Abstinence is supposed to be an act of penance, but I don't feel like eating my fish is.  And I know I could give something up and just offer up more prayers, but I know myself. I won't do it.  Cutting something out of my diet is something I can handle and will remember to do on a weekly basis.

So, I guess my question is this: is my Friday fast of fish still an act of penance even though I don't eat much, if any, meat during the week?  And if it isn't, what should I fast from on Fridays? My most heavily protein based foods?

Less than 3,

V.