This idea was totally, totally unexpected, and of course, I have to do more thinking and praying, but the desire to just "do it" is continually growing.
There is a great site called Catholic Volunteer Network Service, and if you've never looked at it, I think you should! It lists all the Catholic missions in the US who accept lay volunteers and the places they minister to. Most of these missions are run by nuns, friars, jesuits, priests, etc. They help the poor and impoverished. They help women and children. You can choose from programs that last for a week up to two years. Most programs will accept married couples with no children. Lots of missions will give you a stipend, health insurance, and a place to live, usually among the religious you are working for. Throughout the year, the programs offer retreats and courses in which you can grow spiritually. I think if you're looking to do something for the summer or spring break, you should definitely look into one of these programs.
As a young person, I was rather idealistic. I thought, if I'm not helping others, I'm not helping myself. I used to volunteer a lot through organizations at school. Somehow, I lost that attitude when I got to college. Probably because everyone was breathing down my neck telling me I needed "to be a strong, independent, self-realized woman who could make her own money and way in life" and that "I didn't need no man." What silly advice. I realize those people had the best intentions, but really...
When I look around at my situation now compared to the people I would be helping, I think, "well, crap. I don't have it great, but I don't have it bad either." It was almost as if a burden had been lifted from me right then. I think, with the exception of a few, few things which are really just sentimental, if my house were to burn down, I'd be upset over the loss of my "things," but I wouldn't miss them. I wouldn't spend my life going about trying to replace them (maybe my degrees and my baptismal certificate). I could give away all my "things," and I would be ok. I pretty much live on next to nothing right now, and if I was given a place to live (which is half of all my bills) and food to eat (which these places provide), I could do it. I almost feel as if God is saying, "HEY SILLY, this is why you can't get a job. This is why I've been taking material things away from you. I've been preparing you for a life poverty and charity."
Moreover, the opportunities for me as a teacher are increased as well. Lots of programs offer the ability to work in a university or Catholic school setting with children who are living in impoverished areas, are in need of food, and are in need of education because their parents don't teach them English. I can only imagine how great it would be to teach a child like this (most of these schools are one-to-one learning). I have no joy in my job because I do care if my students learn or not; they don't. The average public school kid comes from a working class family and sees education as a right, not a privilege, and this mentality effects their classroom performance. But for these children, education is still a privilege. Granted, there would probably be a few exceptions as there is with anything, I think on the whole, most of these children would be overjoyed and excited to learn. I would be overjoyed and excited to teach children like that.
The more and more I think about this, the more I can't help but smile and feel joy, which is a very welcomed feeling considering how I've been feeling for the past couple of days. The weird thing about it is, I never would have considered this an option had J not brought up the idea of him becoming a priest again (<---- yes, you read that right. J is considering the priesthood. This is a major reason why we aren't married yet). It was originally sort of a backup plan if he does finally decide to go off to seminary to get me past myself, to get out of this city, and to force me out of my own self misery (because I know I would wallow in it) having to serve others who are less fortunate that I have been in my life. But the more I think about it, the more I think I might do it regardless of the outcome because, well, I just want to. I want to live a quiet life with brothers and sisters. I want to give to people who don't have much. I'm sure my parents will throw a fit and call me crazy again. They are so proud that I have my masters and work in a college. It would break their heart if I left, but they just don't understand a Catholic life. Oh well. Wouldn't be the first time. Probably won't be the last. I'll probably just look like the crazy nuts, liberal arts, bohemian child that they (mistakenly) had. (I kid!)
Which this is all so funny because while I was at the shrine, for no particular reason other than they didn't have Saint Veronica (see station 6 of Stations of the cross), and I think we are very similar in attitudes, I bought a Saint Therese of Lisieux medal who is none other than the patron saint of the missions! So I suppose I should end this with a small petition to her.
Saint Therese of Lisieux, Patron Saint of the Missions, pray for us!
I will definitely pray that you find some answers here! It's a noble desire. A good friend of mine spent a year in Ecuador after college-it was a really awesome experience for everyone involved.
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